Airports are boring - so I wrote a blog post

Recently, I got to experience the current UK airport security measures first hand, when I flew down from Newcastle Airport to the south of England on business. I thought I was doing well; I was careful to not pack any liquids with greater than 100ml volume, and carried them in a separate transparent bag... But I was scuppered when my scrawny tube of facewash was found to have originally contained 150ml... The security officer dutifully confiscated it! There was only about three blobs' worth for the jobsworth to sling out... I shrugged away, muttering about how rediculous that was, but mindful to not curse any louder than a stage whisper, for fear of the legendary backlash of a bodysearch.

And yet ... Lo! What yonder shop was sited just inside the screens to the departure mall, but a big Boots concession full of all sizes and shapes of toiletries and cosmetics. Coincidence?

And yes, those bottles of soft drinks that folk were made to leave on a table just before the barrier could be replaced in any of two or three shops nearby, at over-inflated prices for the captive passengers.

My return trip was equally tedious; my last appointment was cancelled. This meant that I was dropped off at Heathrow early, five hours before my booked flight. A quick visit to the desk confirmed that if I wanted to fly on the one which left in an hour's time it would cost me about three times the amount which the whole trip had cost ... So I comforted myself with the fact that this airport recently won an award for being the second best airport to be delayed in, or something. Turned out to be ok as long as you liked costas, boots or whsmiths...

Prior to going through security, there was a spotty youth employed to gleefully tell us to make those two bags into one for the scanners - I struggled but one went inside the other. We also had to take shoes off to be x-rayed...

Post-security, after a coffee and a wander, I found an observation lounge giving a fantastic panorama of a very busy take-off runway. It had everything from jumbos to little tiddler ones; the jumbos look really slow and heavy, it's amazing they can take off at all.

I was so bored, I almost bought a book.

Eventually got back to Newcastle and it only took me 5 minutes before I was free and away driving home. Woohoo!

It was only when I got home and started unpacking that I discovered I'd carried a 150ml bottle of flammable alcoholic handrub in a sidepocket to my bag I'd forgotten was there!!!! Oops!!